Fruit Snowman

Jack was proud of the fruit snowman he built. I liked it too.

Weekend with friends

This weekend we went with the family of one of Jack's preschool friends to the Olympic Peninsula. It was lots of fun. The four kids played and my kids fought much much less than normal. Parents had fun too. We visited fort warden, the pool, and ran around outside.

The mom from the family has a background in early childhood education. It was so interesting watching her parent. Her son is very verbal and so is she.. She uses lots of incentives to motivate him but he already seems really motivated to me. She also intervenes a lot to teach good social skills. I learned a lot too.

the kids

Sonia and I at ft warden.

My little virgo

When Kim was closing her business she encouraged me to take a stack of colorful fleece squares. I told her I didn't know what I would do with them and she told me that Sonia loved them. She was right. Sonia loves these squares. Mostly, she just folds them into different shapes and lays them out neatly on the floor or on a table.

The Willows Inn

This weekend, Ryan and I went to the Willows Inn on Lummi Island to celebrate our birthdays. Ryan planned the trip after reading about the restaurant at the Inn in the new york times. Last year, it was one of ten restaurants in the world that the food critic from the times thought was worth flying to in order to eat there.

In a word, the experience was sublime. My vocabulary is not good enough to describe this place so I'll just show a few pictures of the food. They served 16 different dishes.

Terrible picture of our amazing table -- lovely view of the San Juan islands in the background

Crispy crepe with salmon roe

Crab and pickled kelp

Smoked sockeye salmon

Bread with pan drippings / homemade butter

Charred frisee with homemade capers

Huckleberries with woodruff and malt

One of the reasons this restaurant is so amazing is that they grow all of the food they serve on a farm located a half mile away. The seafood is from the water that surrounds the island. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience and well-worth the trip.

See you soon grandparents!

My mother and step-father are returning to AZ this week so we visited this weekend. We had promised Jack a trip to the pool but sadly, when we arrived, the pool was closed. Jack was miserable. There is another club pool in the area and mom my decided to appeal to them to see if they'd let us swim even though we weren't members. They said no. Luckily, some members walked in and saw Jack's cute face and offered to sign them in as guests. What luck! Plus the club had an indoor and outdoor pool. We were all happy.

We also had a nice ferry ride from Bainbridge and got to see the new ferris wheel all lit up. Every time we see it, we relive our ferris wheel ride in Liverpool.

Here's some footage of Sonia and Elmo dancing

Food miracle inspired by Roald Dahl

I am accustomed to the fact that Jack generally doesn't each much unless there is sugar in the food -- in that case he can't get enough. A while ago, I decided to stop cooking separate meals. It was inspired by my friend Kate in London who was inspired by the French parents in her children's school. Tonight, Jack ate a large bowl of potato leek soup then he asked if he could eat an apple. It was very exciting. Vegetables and fruit consumed in one meal.

We have been listening to the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We've listened to it many times. Jack loves it. He pretended the potato leek soup was the watery cabbage soup that Charlie Bucket eats for dinner. He also likes to pretend that he is Charlie Bucket and I am Grandma Josephine.  Whatever it takes to get nutritious food into that wee little guy.

The genius of The Simpsons

While becoming a part of Jack's school, I am constantly reminded of my favorite Simpson's episode. Lisa becomes a vegetarian. The school reaction is so funny, and it's also part of many experiences that have informed my opinion of schools in general. The independent thought alarm + the video from the Resistance is Useless series are my very favorite.

Lisa becomes a vegetarian

the new school

I spent last weekend with high school friends in California. Ryan took the kids to my mom's. Here they are flying our b-2 bomber kite.

I returned Monday while Jack was at school. It feels like he is always at school now. He goes until 3pm. He also really wanted to take the bus home so then he didn't get home until even later. I decided the bus was too much for me. In fact, this whole long school day is too much for me.

 My back-up plan is homeschooling. I feel like I have my finger just inches away from a metaphorical eject button -- the button that activates the rocket underneath the seat of a fighter pilot to prevent him from going down in a burning airplane. A melodramatic example that captures my mood perfectly. School is the burning airplane in case you are not with me.

 I don't see how the structure of public school really educates anyone. It seems more like a prison intent on producing passive rule-followers. If you don't do well in school, you're a loser and if you do well, you're a winner. Our school does not have many of the problems most public schools have because the neighborhood is quite affluent.. still, I am not excited.

 At this point, my concerns about Jack's school don't have anything to do with Jack. I can't tell how he feels about it and I don't think he really knows yet either. He does like his independence though. He loves the bus and he is always ready for me to leave when I drop him off. We'll see.

Happy 3rd BirthdaySonia

Sonia turned 3 a few days ago. How the time flies. She stayed home from school. We threw a party at a nearby park. I packed the minivan with food, furniture, homemade bubbles and the grill. The weather was perfect. Sonia had so much fun she didn't want to leave.

Sonia started going to a new preschool this week. Every day when I pick her up she says 'That was so much fun.' At the new school, the kids can't wear diapers. Sonia had never successfully worn underwear before last Tuesday so I didn't think it was going to go well.

Surprisingly, when I picked her up, there'd been no accidents. Then she proceeded to have accidents the rest of the afternoon with me. I learned a lot when I saw that she could use the toilet, she just was not interested in doing what I had wanted her to do all summer. I was trying to be relaxed about it but she clearly picked up on my hope she'd be done with diapers.

 So, I let it go and decided we'd just go through lots of clothes. Not a big deal. Then she decided to stop wearing diapers. It is true what they say -- acceptance is the first part of change.

 I am glad I learned the lesson (again) because Sonia has recently become obsessed with princesses. I think my initial resistance to the princess thing helped fuel the obsession.. or at least it did nothing to stop it. She will only wear princess clothing. She picked out dinosaur pajamas tonight but then put them back and commented that princesses don't like dinosaurs. They do, I insisted. Princesses often have dinosaurs as friends. She accepted that and kept the PJ's. I don't think an obsession with princesses leads to being a passive female anymore than I believe that young boys who wear blue will grown up straight. But I am leery of these characters. They seem so uninteresting to me.. but then I am not the one into them.

School

On Wednesday Jack will go to kindergarten. I have a great deal of apprehension about public schools in general. In addition, Jack doesn't seem to be big into following orders. These two things together have made my sleep less-than-optimal this past week. I am doing my best to let events unfold without listening to the commentary in my head. I read a lovely book by Harriet Lerner called Marriage Rules. She also had a few suggestions for parents and one was, 'Don't make predictions about your kids.' The most common experience of the public schools (and Catholic schools) was boredom. I never critiqued my education experience until high school. I did well in school because I was very into approval. Once I got to high school I remember lots of boredom. I enjoyed classes that had good teachers (not many) and math. Today, if you have money, your kids don't have to have this experience. Seattle abounds in private schools. Some of these schools are probably structured and boring but in different ways than the public schools. The dominant parenting culture here seems to be one intently focused on traditional measures of success -- good grades and athletic ability. Where is the school for the parent that wants their child to know how to cope with life's challenges? I want my kids to love to learn, to work hard and have fun without undue amounts of anxiety. I don't know if there's an institution that can help me instill those values. I've also been reading a great book about homeschooling.. more on that later.

End of summer

We had a few more adventures in order to end our summer with a bang. We went to Hood River to go to a wedding of an old friend of Ryan's. I have friends from my college years who live in this amazingly beautiful town (3 out of 4 of the people work in health care which is probably the only reason they could live there since there aren't many jobs). We stayed with friends who have two kids and their home is outdoor heaven. They have a pond and a kid-sized kayak so Jack paddled around on his own with much glee. They keep bees so we got to see a hive and their honey combs. We visited the beach (a bay created from the Columbia River) and Ryan and Jack paddled around on a surf board. We swam. We built sand castles.

I got to spend time talking to my friend of 20 years about what our priorities are as parents based on our own life experiences. My number 1 wish is good mental health in order to have good coping skills. We went to the wedding in a small town called Dufur, not to be confused with Dufus which is what I thought the name after reading it once. It's a very small farming town east of The Dalles. Lots of rolling, golden hills and sun, it was a perfect wedding location. The kids did ok.. they mostly ran around and drank lemonade. These pictures turned out terribly - proof that Ryan needs a new phone since his lens is scratched..

On the way home we met Ryan's sister and niece in Portland. Portland has some great outdoor restaurants. We ate at a sandwich place called Lardo.. delicious.

Since I've had the kids around the clock, I've had to take them with me on errands. Sonia continues to have strong opinions about her outfits and I continue not to.

We met the family of a preschool friend at a great new water park in north seattle. thank you parks levy. We spent hours playing in the water and at the new play structures.

Turning 40

I have had a great time turning 40. I've celebrated as much as possible. I went to Portland with two dear friends. We visited the Rose Garden, had lovely meals, hiked near the Columbia Gorge. I had a housewarming/ birthday party with the neighbors who endured our endless construction project. My mom threw a lovely party for me at her house with my sister and brother in attendance. I went to Spokane with two other college friends and we rode the Lake Coeur D'Alene trail and swam in the lake. I dined with my local friends. I went to yoga. All fun. It's great to be 40.

Alki

I've been to Alki Beach a few times this year and each time it was wet and cold. I passed the little store that rents Surreys and dreamed of cruising down the beach with the kids in the sun. A few weeks ago, my dreams came true. We were in West Seattle trying to renew my driver's license (unsuccessfully). We then visited a park near Alki that has a boat and a whale tail in the sand. Jack rode his bike and watched an older boy fly his model airplane. He loved that. We played in the sun then headed to Slices for some delicious pizza. Afterwards, I noticed the Surrey's so we rented one and tootled around.. stopping to play in the water. Jack then decided he wanted to rent a kayak so we did that too. You never know when you'll get another warm, sunny day in Seattle.

Blueberries and swimming

We've had a great time this summer. It's been fun to be able to hang around outside and have nowhere to go. We've had a few adventures. We picked blueberries in Carnation. The kids enjoyed this for about 15 minutes and because I had driven 45 minutes to get there, I had to continue picking berries. I picked about 9 pounds and the kids probably ate a pound.

We've taken swimming lessons for the last 2 weeks at our little pool. Jack's swimming has improved a great deal. He now swims under water for 10 feet or so -- can lift his head up to get a breath and keep going. He loves, loves swimming. I have to pull them out of the pool after 2-3 hours because I have turned into a prune. We also played T-ball with Jack's preschool class. Jack is less excited about T-ball. At least he doesn't lay down on the field anymore. He's not a big runner.. never has been. It's been fun to socialize with the parents. Jack loves seeing his friend Hayden. Hayden introduced Jack to star wars and when they're not playing t-ball, they are on the field have pretend star wars battles. They like to be the bad guys and kill Luke Skywalker. We've also had lots of fun playing with our neighbors. Jack and Sonia are endlessly entertained by pretend games and just running around with them.

Death

Jack has been asking me about death lately. Will I die? he asks. For a while, I didn't answer the question directly. I said, when you are really, really, really old.. waaaaay in the future ... far away. Then finally, yesterday I said, yes, one day, you will die. He said, oh no. And sounded very sad. I have since introduced the idea of heaven. Earlier today, he asked me where he was when Ryan and I did our cross-country cycling ride. I told him he was in heaven. I said it was outside of space. You live there before are born and after you die. Mainly, I do not want Jack to have existential anxiety when he is 5. I remember when my mom explained what heaven was. I was also 5. I was raised Catholic so it seemed to fit with my idea of reality. I asked her what you wore in heaven and she said nothing. This caused me a lot of concern but I did not worry about dying. I don't think I challenged this idea until high school. Ryan is an atheist but has promised to go along with my story. We really don't know what happens when we die anyway so I am not exactly lying. It helps me introduce my idea of God to Jack which has been difficult to do since we don't go to church. We are talking more about other peoples' religions. His questions are always so big.

Don't call me stupid

Yesterday, Jack was upset because I had said movie time was over. He really cannot regulate his emotions around screen time. Every Friday, we allow him a movie or video game -- usually for no more than 1 hour. Every Friday, when it's over, he freaks out. He screams. He cries. It doesn't matter that I remind him not to do this before movie time starts. So yesterday, in addition to the usual drama, he called me stupid. He has said this before and I have told him not to do it. We were supposed to have ice cream last night and after he told me I was stupid, I told him that was not ok to do. It is mean and disrespectful. I told him I would never call him stupid for those reasons (and for others obviously). We are introducing the idea of consequences. The consequence for calling me stupid was that we cancelled ice cream. He was upset about this but after a while, he understood. We'll see if he does it again. I said 'don't call me stupid' several times. Each time I thought of Kevin Kline's character in A Fish Called Wanda. It made me feel silly. Being a stern parent does not come naturally. That said, don't call me stupid!

Lazy days

We are moving slowly this summer. On Friday, we didn't get out of the house until noon. Then we just hung around the neighborhood. We love to walk around and pick raspberries. Jack spent some time on his pedal bike (it has training wheels). We wandered down the street to watch construction of a new house. We took the bike trailer to the video store and rented The Return of the Jedi for movie night. Jack then changed his mind and wanted to watch Mary Poppins. I think Star Wars in movie form is thrilling and terrifying to Jack so when given the chance to watch, he often opts out. On our slow mornings we read. The kids play (usually not with each other). Sonia is always very busy and entertains herself very easily. She has been into dress-ups as they call the dress up clothes. Jack gets antsy but often finds something else to do as long as he knows we have some plan to get out of the house later. Yesterday, our morning was similar. We played with the neighbors a bit then went to the downtown Seattle Public Library via the light rail. We haven't been to the central branch in a while. The kids loved the play area and they have a great selection of books. For dinner, we hit a family fave 'U Need a Burger.' Our weather has been less than awesome. However, we really don't mind. It's generally not cold or rainy. I loved seeing the sun today but have given up complaining about the weather. Sonia in her "dress-up"

Jack climbed up a Japanese Maple

Summer?

We've been having fun since school ended. Many of our days are slow. Jack went to a museum of flight camp one week that he seemed to like. It went from 9-4 every day so he was beyond exhausted at the end of every day. Because it's warm we just go outside and hang out. It's been fun going to the pool, picking berries (now raspberries), going to different beaches and the wading pool, and just wandering around the neighborhood. We've also met with some of Jack's fellow kindergartners. It's hard to believe he'll be heading to kindergarten. He seems ambivalent about it. I feel the same. Some of the time, I am excited, others, I think I should homeschool. I know he can't have an idea of what it means to go to kindergarten. Either do I really. The public school system of Seattle seems mysterious. I am sure I'll have lots to report. Sonia has developed a very strong opinion about her clothing. She decides what she wears. It's usually something reasonable with a princess or fairy costume over it. Jack recently wanted to leave the house with his shirt on backwards and two different shoes on. I didn't mind but Ryan made him change.

Summer!

Both kids "graduated" from their schools. Luckily, Sonia and Jack will be returning to Sonia's school (formerly Jack's too) for a little 4 week summer camp in July. Sonia still asks every day if she is going to Kim's. Kim made a cake on the last day of school with a picture of the girls on it: Jack's school had a ceremony. I teared up a bit. It was very sweet and a little sad. I'll miss the parents and kids from his class. Luckily, several of the parents have kids Sonia's age so we'll meet again in the fall when Sonia goes there. The new pace of summer is really nice. We don't have to be anywhere. Next week, Jack will attend a much-anticipated camp at the Museum of Flight but other than that, our summer is very low-key. We joined an outdoor pool in Bellevue. It's very simple but perfect. Both kids love it. We go rain or shine, cold or hot.. there's been much more rain and cold lately. Jack especially is very enthusiastic about swimming. He can swim under water but can't make it to the surface on his own. He is very tenacious though. He tries and tries. Swimming is the first athletic activity that Jack seems to love. It's fun to watch.

Sonia the soccer star

A few days ago, Sonia was bothering Jack. He tried to hit her but he missed. In response, she threw herself a couple of feet and hit the floor crying in agony. I didn't do anything but Jack asked her if she was ok. After a minute, she said she was.. I now wonder how many times I have run to her and she's been faking it. Lately, she's also been pretending to be asleep in the car. I think it's great that she already gets pretend .. perhaps she has a future in the theater or on the soccer field. She already handles many complex concepts. It's amazing what an advantage it is to have an older sibling. There are times I can't believe she's only 2 and other times that I am reminded how little 2 really is.. I am usually the first one up in the morning. Ryan and Jack sleep in and Sonia gets up after I do. Whenever she wakes up I can hear her open her door. I walk toward her and when she sees me she always runs into my arms to snuggle. It is such a sweet moment in my day.