Hysteria

Yesterday, Ryan, Jack and I were eating dinner. Sonia went outside to play with our neighbors. A few minutes later, Ryan asked where she was and I said she was at the neighbors. Then I ran up there to check on her. The neighbors weren't home. Then I started calling her name. I went to the home of two other neighbors with kids and neither had seen her.

Then my brain made the following connection: If Sonia is not on this block, then someone has taken her. And I became hysterical. I started screaming her name. I was crying. All of the neighbors who knew me came out of their homes and started helping me look for her. I insisted someone call the police. When I was talking to the dispatcher, I was so panicked I could not remember what Sonia had been wearing.

Then, someone had the sense to check the home of a neighbor who is not on the block but lives across the street. As I stood on the corner sobbing, a police car drove up and Sonia walked out onto the corner. She had simply gone somewhere she doesn't usually go without telling me. Because my mind had made the leap into panic that thought had not occurred to me.

My neighbors were kind. I was embarrassed.

There is a saying: if you hear hoof beats, think horses not zebras.  While running around my block, I thought about all the people who've lectured me because I allow my kids the freedom to walk around on their own. I thought about the news stories that would say I am a bad parent because I don't keep them in my view all the time.

I believe giving my kids freedom is important for their development. My hope is next time I will think about horses.