Today I had my 4th parent-teacher conference. Since it would hard to have a worse experience than my first conference, this one was just the usual level of suck. If you do not have a rule-follower who enjoys work sheets, you won't like them either. Jack is unique. I'll agree to this. The struggle we (meaning me and the teacher) are having is that he is not motivated to complete his work. He doesn't seem to understand that there is a problem with not completing it. Either he doesn't get it or he doesn't care. I think it's the former. I understand his point of view. Why is it important that he finish math computations or handwriting practice? He's not interested in my argument that pilots and astronauts are good at math. You have to build those skills. It's too abstract. He is not motivated by what those around him are doing... you can see how that might help him later in life.. even if it doesn't, I can't and won't change that about him.
Perhaps he is unlucky that he has a parent whose own parents seemed to always accept her as she was. I am still grateful for this so I am not much of a micro-managing parent. Maybe that is doing him a disservice? The tough part is that you cannot separate who you are as a person from who you are as a parent. I could never be a tiger mom. I am not that aggressive about anything in my own life. It seems to have worked out for me.. of course, I was a rule follower who enjoyed work sheets. I am sure my parents enjoyed parent-teacher conferences.
The worst part of this experience is that I have to believe the rules don't work for us and therefore, don't apply. I am terrible at that. Give me a formula and I will follow it. I told the teacher today that not all children have the same academic trajectory. I want to support him. Honestly, where education is concerned, I just don't know the best way to do that right now.
1 comment:
1) I am delighted that you update your blog. I should consider doing the same.
2) I don't think the rules really benefit most kids, wrt school. does it matter if Jack completes his math computations or handwriting practice? I guess I wonder how he's feeling about math and if he enjoys writing and reading.
3) I think the best thing you can do is talk with him about how the skill of practice is one of the best to acquire - there are certainly things that he does practice, right? it sounds like that's what you are talking with him about. yay you! accepting one's kid does not assume that you don't help them with context and meaning and consquences. Maggie & I talk about the things that are easy for her and how that might mean she is not learning the things her friends are - how to study, how to practice. school expectations will catch up and then she will not find things as easy if she doesn't figure out how to learn in a school setting.
Post a Comment