Jack is an active little guy -- he climbs, jumps, dances, and moves almost constantly. The one thing he hasn't been doing .. the big developmental milestone it seems everyone is obsessed with .. the one verb that has not followed the subject Jack is walk. No walking. Jack has not been into walking. Yes, at 17 months, he had only taken a few steps and he preferred to crawl. The rational side of me really didn't care. He seemed healthy to me. If I didn't know any other babies I wouldn't know he was behind. But I interact with other parents that I don't know frequently -- mainly on playgrounds or other kid-centered venues. The first question everyone asks me or any parent is 'how old is he?' I never thought much about this seemingly benign question until I started to feel like it was part of an assessment of my child. 'Oh, my sister's son didn't walk until 18 months' or some version of that was the response to my response to the age question. So the not very rational side of me started to get irritated, defensive, and not very rational.
I made peace with this as (coincidentally) Jack has started to show more interest and confidence in walking. I have to remind myself almost constantly that Jack will be who he is regardless of other people's (or my) expectations so it is a waste of time to worry if he is "normal" when he is always just going to be "Jack." I keep learning this lesson over and over again.. not sure when I will finally get it. Hopefully, soon. Imagine how popular I am on the playground when a nice mom asks me how old my son is and I respond 'Why?'
Not very.
Here is the banana doing his little baby strut...
4 comments:
I love it - Jack looks so coordinated! I also love the ... "Why?" How many times have I not felt I could get away with that...
I had noticed that when you are playing with a child on the playground and acknowledge another child playing nearby, the question one asks is "How old is s/he?"
I got this when I was playing with a friend's child on the swings. People seemed puzzled when I would answer "Hm, I don't know, about 19 months?"
I wasn't brave enough to just leave it at that. I generally would say "Oh, she's not mine. Her mother's over there." But I should have not said anything and left them to wonder what kind of mother I was.
yea, playground politics. a brave new world it is..
"I have to remind myself almost constantly that Jack will be who he is regardless of other people's (or my) expectations so it is a waste of time to worry if he is "normal" when he is always just going to be "Jack." I keep learning this lesson over and over again.. not sure when I will finally get it." I loved this part of your journal because my children are 27 and 23 (almost) and I still haven't got it. I guess now at their age I would change the term "normal" to "successful", but isn't it the same really?
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