cookie "bouquet" sent by tina (thanks tina!)
ryan and jack
my daily life seems so hard now. i think its mainly because i experienced a huge drop in hormone levels and as a result, i literally sweat with fear that something is wrong with jack. some moments are better than others.
i learned he was losing weight yesterday so the breastfeeding thing is officially over although i still pump. i'll see how long that lasts. i have make sure he eats a certain amount and its just not possible to do that while breastfeeding.
my mom is here now so i can sleep some during the day and don't have to worry about household chores. this is such a godsend. i wish i'd known how much help i'd need and why. when my mom leaves, i'll be alone during the day. but i will make it. on the occasions that i do get out, i think about how all the people i see driving and living their daily lives were once small like jack, and here they are now -- adults. this comforts me.
1 comment:
yes - having a baby is hard! and it does get easier, but it's still hard. i think that i had NO idea what it would be like - i had a baby boy march 30, he is now 8 months old and it's hard to believe how time has gone by so quickly. i too wanted a natural childbirth, and had one until the very last moments...i was ready to push but my cervix just kept holding on - so i had an epidural and waited 8 hrs until i pushed him out. don't fret about breastfeeding... you have to do what you have to do and no one can tell you how - every baby is different and some are meant to breastfeed and some aren't. I think I cried everyday for at least 2-3 weeks after D was born. A good day was if I only cried once or not at all. Things that helped me were: taking a shower everyday (sounds silly but it really helped), trying to get out at least once a day after week 2-3, going to First Starts with Ann Keppler. Going to First Starts at the Montlake Community Birth and Family Center was a huge help - you can ask all the questions you want and get balanced answers and you can also hear about everyone else's problems, which sounds horrible, but it really helped to hear that other people were having problems/issues and just to be around other new moms. I also realized how little I really knew about what it would be like. It's drop in so you don't feel like you have to go every week, everyone is SO supportive, and it's on Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 12-2. Sometimes I'd go both days just to get out. And don't forget your hormones are raging - yes, your baby is your number one priority but don't forget yourself! (you know my sister liz who passed your blog onto me btw)
Post a Comment