LEGO Fest

Last weekend, we visited Portland to attend Lego Fest -- which was just what you think it was -- a festival with Legos. Family adventures are always fun for me. On weekends at home, the four of us are rarely together. Ryan and I tend to take the kids alone for part of each day while the other does something else. When we travel, we are always together. The kids seem very flexible about driving long distances or staying in strange places.  Something generally goes wrong and we have to adapt. I've always enjoyed the unknown of travel but travel with kids takes that unknown to a new level.

I am glad I attended Lego Fest but I will probably avoid kid-focused events for quite some time. It was crowded and some important components of the world of legos seemed to be missing from the hands-on sections of the festival. For example, the mini-figures are very important to Jack's construction projects but there weren't any. We suspected either the organizers were afraid people would steal them or that they were all stolen by the time we arrived.  Sonia and I spent several hours in the Lego Friends area.. constructing homes with lots of pale pink, blue and green legos with lots of flowers and trees. We both had fun.  It is so odd how that was the only lego section that appealed to either of us and not at all to Jack or Ryan. Everything else was Ninjago, Star Wars, Mindstorms or other (I guess) boy-themed legos. Why don't I like that stuff? Is it really the double x?

Besides Lego Fest, we hit a cute cafe Sunday morning for some delicious Portland coffee. Then onto a park behind the famous rose gardens and later to our friends' home in Camas.

Harry Potter lego sculpture

Sonia is proud of her house and does not want to dismantle it.

My dream room. There are windows along the left wall too.

Delicious coffee and hot chocolate

Why does Sonia like this instead of Ninjago? I hate Ninjago too though.

Robert's wedding

The adult highlight of the fall was going to our friends' Robert and Mario's wedding in Oakland.  Grandma and Grandpa watched Sonia and Jack as we spent 2 days solo in sunny and warm Oakland. When we arrived, we ate a lovely lunch at an amazing sushi restaurant in san francisco. We wandered around the city a bit then had gelato at our favorite North Beach gelateria. Then returned to Oakland for the first of many parties. Robert and Mario did not miss a detail. Everything was perfect. It was so fun to go to their wedding.. so full of joy.  One of the most moving toasts was one by a priest, a dear friend of the couple. He talked about the wedding as a very important event because to marry is to say yes to life. He went on in the articulate way that only Jesuits can quoting mystics and philosophers. His point was that saying yes to life is to live fully: to embrace all that unfolds from pain and tears to joy and laughter. Ryan and I have been using the emphatic YES to life especially when our kids start to get on our nerves.. Saying YES means accepting it all so you can experience it all. It helps us in those small annoying moments that seem to happen as much as the small, lovely moments.  This was likely his point.

Of course, random gondolas float by during the ceremony.

Happy Birthday Sonia!

I am posting this really late... over a month late.. 

We had lots of celebrations to celebrate Sonia's 4th birthday. First, a gathering of school friends at a nearby park with cupcakes (very casual, the playground was the entertainment). The following day, we had a bigger party for our neighborhood and family friends. We had lots of food, bubbles, a playground, balloons, and lots of fun. I had made a cake from an organic mix and it turned out to be far too small to serve the 20 people who were going to be at the party. I had to spend $50 on cupcakes. That was painful. Next year, no mix!

The next day we had lunch with grandparents. We exchanged more gifts and ate macaroons from Bakery Nouveau. Heaven!

Sonia's preschool asked we bring healthy treats for birthdays. I brought fruit with homemade whipped cream on top. No one at it except Sonia and the little guy sitting next to her. Kids want cake.

Sonia pouting at her first party -- at Madison Park. Originally planned as a swimming party but had to be changed last minute due to clouds and cold. The other kids didn't mind.

Sonia at the playground party -- happier with cupcakes and tiara.

Ryan made chocolate mousse to celebrate Sonia's 4th. Jack enjoyed it. Aunt Katie says this picture makes him look like Captain Jack Sparrow.

The $35 cupcakes

Moms sitting at a party. So unusual I had to capture it.

New School Year

We started a new school year and I was likely the most nervous among us.  Jack and Sonia both had smooth transitions from vacation to school.  Jack's teacher is lovely.. a nice, relaxed woman with 2 teen-aged girls. A few weeks into school,  as I explained to her that Jack has no enthusiasm for homework, she agreed that Jack is tough to motivate. Among many other tricks, she had been giving him smarties (little candies) to get him to finish his work.  I was relieved that she could see what I saw and didn't think it was my fault. I had intended not to do the homework again this year. However, I decided that if I am going to be in the public school system, I should just try their methods before rebelling against them.  Jack's kindergarten teacher said she and her high-school aged daughter could tutor Jack once a week. They are usually able to finish the homework with him.  When they don't, he and I discuss being "unafraid of toil" (a phrase Jack has learned from harry potter).  

Speaking of Harry Potter and motivation, we have adopted a new point system ala The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Every time Jack does something that helps me (take a plate to the sink, brush teeth, get dressed .. anything without me having to ask him more than once) he gets points. He doesn't get points for doing homework or being kind to others because (as I explained to him) he needs to do those things because he wants to. I know Alfie Kohn would not approve. Unfortunately, I have used his methods for years with almost no success. Jack doesn't care that it's important to brush his teeth so they won't rot out and he won't have bad breath. He does care that he can get 2 points which go towards his goal of 40 so he can have some screen time.  

Sonia participates a little bit but isn't really motivated by the point system. However, she is easier to motivate.

Sonia is pretty happy at school as well. If only pre-school lasted until 4th grade.

First day of 1st grade

Jack figures out if he puts a pull-up on his head he looks like a ninja -- I did not disavow him of this idea

Sonia wants to be a ninja too

Random beautiful early fall morning on greenlake - no kids

Old friends

We went to the zoo yesterday with a family we've been friends with since Jack's birth. I met Jo when we were both pregnant. A mutual friend introduced us and we agreed to call each other after our babies were born. We had our first date when the wee ones were 6 weeks old.

In a blink, here they are at 6 years

First family camping trip

Last weekend, we camped at Lakedale resort on San Juan Island. We were invited by friends who had reserved the campsite months ago. We'd been camping once for a night when Jack was 2 but this time, we camped for 3 nights. There was no internet access, we cooked our food over a fire or on a camp stove, and the kids ran around freely as there were few cars. The "resort" had three lakes and our site was on one of them. We played in the water. The kids did lots of running while the adults even got to do a little sitting. Pretty exciting. The hit of the weekend was our hammock. I loved being outside and the kids had fun too. Ryan, however, was not thrilled. He reported that he didn't like being dirty.  Since the kids are older now, it's easier for me to take them on trips like this.. so next year, I'll likely be solo.

We went on a beach walk on the south side of san juan island. A great fishing spot due to currents around the island ..  the beach also has a lot of driftwood

My friend Dana and her youngest who is Sonia's age. We have been friends for almost 20 years

The beloved hammock

Fun on the lake

We visited Roche Harbor. Lovely and fancy but seemed out of place on this rural island

The whole group

Big step

This summer, we have gone through a big transition. Sonia and Jack now play outside without vigilant supervision. They often play with our neighbors and they run and play around our block. It's really cool to hear all the imaginative play that takes place. They can play for hours and protest when it's dinner time. We go out occasionally to check on them but since the windows are open, we can generally hear them. They also cycle between our house and the neighbor's house. It's good old-fashioned summer fun.

This picture doesn't match the story however, it's a rare shot of Sonia and Jack helping each other. They know the dock is a play to be careful, and they work together to stay safe.

Summer continued

The summer seems to be flying by .. we have no problem filling our time. We've gone to birthday parties, visited grandparents, made many trips to the pool, and spent lots of time with our next door neighbors who are also schedule-free. The weather has been amazing. Last week, we visited Portland for the second time this summer. Ryan did the STP. He had a great time and so did we. We went with a family from our preschool whose dad was also doing the ride. We visited the Portland Children's museum, spent a few hours at a park where we had a picnic, and visited the local uwajimaya -- always fascinating for kids (American kids that is)

Something has changed recently though. Two weeks ago, we spent the week with the children of a friend. I watched 4 kids for 4 days (long story about how this happened). My friend has lovely kids who are the same age as mine but the combination wasn't great for my kids. Jack was really unhappy with the arrangement but instead of articulating that he became aggressive and channeled that anger toward Sonia. I spent a great deal of time managing their unhappiness and mine. It seems that week wore me down as I felt really cranky this week.  Jack, especially, seems to pick up my moods. So now my unhappiness is his. I didn't figure it all out until yesterday when I commented to Ryan that I couldn't understand why the kids were so grumpy. His look said it all. Grumpy mom = grumpy children.

Next week, the kids will attend camp. We all need some space.

Portland Children's Museum entrance

We visited friends who moved to Portland. They have 3 kids in their family and this amazing cargo bike. I want one.

Ryan at STP finish

Bloedel Reserve on Bainbridge Island

Bloedel Reserve. This is how they feel about posing for pictures

Visit to Oxbow farm to pick raspberries

Oxbow

I've wanted to ride the Great Wheel since it was installed. It's worth the ride. I took at least 10 pictures during the ride and chose this one because of Sonia's face. My kids will regret their attitude about pictures once they see this blog.

Audiobooks

For the last year or so, the kids (esp Jack) have been very into audiobooks. We started with 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' read by Erik Idle. He's a great narrator and the story is so rich and enjoyable in the way of all great children's literature. After listening to that at least 10 times, I needed a change so we moved onto all of the Ramona Quimby books. Stockard Channing narrates those and she is also amazing. There are 6 books in that series and after listening to all of those at least 10 times, I had to move on. We listen mostly in the car but sometimes at home and I am always listening too because the stereo is in our living space.

I tried a lot of different audiobooks but the bar is very high for what interests Jack. We tried the Henry Huggins series (we did not make it through one book), the Cat in the Hat and other Dr. Seuss stories (we made it through a couple of those),  and Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing (10 minutes).

We started The Boxcar Children. He was interested but when he learned I'd procured the Harry Potter series, he wanted nothing else. Ryan has been reading the series to him. He has now heard each of the first three books several times. The audiobooks are narrated by Stephen Fry who is as good as Erik Idle or Stockard Channing.

Jack listens to audiobooks with the same rapt attention that he stares at a monitor. If you talk to him, he won't hear you. He also really listens because we talk a lot about the characters in the books. Do we think they are good or bad, nice or mean, etc? He learned a lot about manners from the Ramona books, and he learned about sarcasm from Willy Wonka (although he doesn't know what sarcasm means he understands when Wonka uses it).  I think he liked the Boxcar children because there are no adults around and the kids have adventures independently. Harry Potter's allure is obvious.

It's lots of fun. My challenge is finding really, really good children's books.

Vacation

Last Saturday, we drove out of town for our first family vacation. In the past, we have always visited people we knew (usually my family in Arizona) but this time the majority of our trip was taken alone. We had a long drive since our ultimate destination was Sandpoint, ID.  We took our time .. wandering east and saw some cool sites.

We stopped in Ellensburg:

Jack enjoyed the skatepark

Interesting yard art

Crazy summer storm

 For the first couple of days, we visited friends in Pullman, WA. We'd never visited Pullman and we loved it. Our friends have a 7 year old son and they are super outdoors people. They own every piece of outdoor gear imaginable -- kayaks, sail boat, bicycles. They have a beautiful home with a view of the little city ... a fire pit in the back yard and even a hot tub.  The kids had a blast.

Palouse Falls State Park

Coolest outdoor pool ever

Sailing on the Snake River

Jack and Ryan kayaking on the Snake River

We arrived in Sandpoint on Monday and stayed through the 4th of July.  At first, I was unhappy. We stayed at a lodge on the Pend Oreille River but our cabin was so dark, it felt like a cave. It was old and too small. I'd planned to be able to cook there but it would not have been comfortable with the kids. I also felt that the location was not kid-friendly. Then I figured out what kid-friendly really means: a kid-friendly place is one where kids can play relatively unsupervised so adults can relax. This was not that place. At first, our kids seemed to need our constant entertainment and I didn't feel up to it.

We considered leaving. Then we decided to make the best of it and everything shifted. People go on vacation to escape chores and have the opportunity to have nothing to do but play. We never cooked or cleaned or ran errands. We went to the beach at the river every day. We played with the kids, ate ice cream, went out to dinner. Everyone had fun. Jack and I rode our bikes 3 miles into town every day. We watched the 4th of July parade and the fireworks. We decided to go on vacation every year at this time.

Ryan's parents joined us for a few of the evenings we were in Sandpoint. They hung out with us at the lodge. Ryan's dad took some fun photos.

Ryan and kids standing in front of boat that fascinated Jack. The boat had 2 1200 horse power engines. Ryan's dad estimated its cost around 300K. Fancy.

the lodge -- we watched the fireworks from this dock

Ryan rode his bike the first 60 miles of the way home. He is training for the Seattle-to-Portland ride. The kids and I stopped at Albeni Dam. We took a tour but were allowed no pictures (they are managed by the Army Corps of Engineers). I snapped this one before the tour.

Our last stop was Cle Elum. We met friends for dinner at their parents' vacation home. The kids ran freely. Jack rode his bike on the dirt roads, and they played. We've been listening to Harry Potter while driving so the kids look forward to that part of the trip too. They finally fell asleep around 10 as they are now on summer time.

The Homework Myth

This year, Jack has had a homework packet every week. It contains 10-14 worksheets that duplicate the work he does in the classroom. I tried to inspire him to do it at the beginning of the year but he was very resistant. Ryan got so desperate he bribed him with screen time and I said, 'no way' to that even though Jack was very interested in the trade. So, I stopped bugging Jack about it and he doesn't do it.

His teacher does not love this and told me next year there may be consequences for not doing the homework. I have been preparing for a fight .. in the form of a discussion of course .. with the 1st grade teacher and principal next year. I read Alfie Kohn's book, The Homework Myth. He analyzes all the research around homework in the elementary grades which proved that doing more school work at home does not improve school performance or character (self-discipline, wisdom through suffering or whatever other reason adults believe the value of homework to be).

Fortunately for me, I learned recently that I am not the only parent whose child doesn't do the homework. The other mom is an ivy-league educated UW law professor (score!).  She feels passionately (and she is as articulate and intense as you suspect) that the homework our kindergartners are given is a waste of time. The kids are little and doing fine and even if they weren't, this homework would not help.  She said that we can unite next year against any punitive measures the first grade teachers may consider.

I feel like I won the rebel parent lottery.

On wheels

While I am trying to always accept my children for who they are, I admit that I insist they learn to ride a bike and like it (dammit). I push cycling like Joe Montana probably pushed football. Sonia will not ride the scoot bike that Jack loved but she is into the scooter so we go with that. Today we are having summertime weather so we went to South lake Union around MOHAI to ride. I'd like to say that glorious fun was had by all. It was not. Sonia complained most of the time which is her MO these days. Jack had fun though.