New School Year

We started a new school year and I was likely the most nervous among us.  Jack and Sonia both had smooth transitions from vacation to school.  Jack's teacher is lovely.. a nice, relaxed woman with 2 teen-aged girls. A few weeks into school,  as I explained to her that Jack has no enthusiasm for homework, she agreed that Jack is tough to motivate. Among many other tricks, she had been giving him smarties (little candies) to get him to finish his work.  I was relieved that she could see what I saw and didn't think it was my fault. I had intended not to do the homework again this year. However, I decided that if I am going to be in the public school system, I should just try their methods before rebelling against them.  Jack's kindergarten teacher said she and her high-school aged daughter could tutor Jack once a week. They are usually able to finish the homework with him.  When they don't, he and I discuss being "unafraid of toil" (a phrase Jack has learned from harry potter).  

Speaking of Harry Potter and motivation, we have adopted a new point system ala The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Every time Jack does something that helps me (take a plate to the sink, brush teeth, get dressed .. anything without me having to ask him more than once) he gets points. He doesn't get points for doing homework or being kind to others because (as I explained to him) he needs to do those things because he wants to. I know Alfie Kohn would not approve. Unfortunately, I have used his methods for years with almost no success. Jack doesn't care that it's important to brush his teeth so they won't rot out and he won't have bad breath. He does care that he can get 2 points which go towards his goal of 40 so he can have some screen time.  

Sonia participates a little bit but isn't really motivated by the point system. However, she is easier to motivate.

Sonia is pretty happy at school as well. If only pre-school lasted until 4th grade.

First day of 1st grade

Jack figures out if he puts a pull-up on his head he looks like a ninja -- I did not disavow him of this idea

Sonia wants to be a ninja too

Random beautiful early fall morning on greenlake - no kids

Old friends

We went to the zoo yesterday with a family we've been friends with since Jack's birth. I met Jo when we were both pregnant. A mutual friend introduced us and we agreed to call each other after our babies were born. We had our first date when the wee ones were 6 weeks old.

In a blink, here they are at 6 years

First family camping trip

Last weekend, we camped at Lakedale resort on San Juan Island. We were invited by friends who had reserved the campsite months ago. We'd been camping once for a night when Jack was 2 but this time, we camped for 3 nights. There was no internet access, we cooked our food over a fire or on a camp stove, and the kids ran around freely as there were few cars. The "resort" had three lakes and our site was on one of them. We played in the water. The kids did lots of running while the adults even got to do a little sitting. Pretty exciting. The hit of the weekend was our hammock. I loved being outside and the kids had fun too. Ryan, however, was not thrilled. He reported that he didn't like being dirty.  Since the kids are older now, it's easier for me to take them on trips like this.. so next year, I'll likely be solo.

We went on a beach walk on the south side of san juan island. A great fishing spot due to currents around the island ..  the beach also has a lot of driftwood

My friend Dana and her youngest who is Sonia's age. We have been friends for almost 20 years

The beloved hammock

Fun on the lake

We visited Roche Harbor. Lovely and fancy but seemed out of place on this rural island

The whole group

Big step

This summer, we have gone through a big transition. Sonia and Jack now play outside without vigilant supervision. They often play with our neighbors and they run and play around our block. It's really cool to hear all the imaginative play that takes place. They can play for hours and protest when it's dinner time. We go out occasionally to check on them but since the windows are open, we can generally hear them. They also cycle between our house and the neighbor's house. It's good old-fashioned summer fun.

This picture doesn't match the story however, it's a rare shot of Sonia and Jack helping each other. They know the dock is a play to be careful, and they work together to stay safe.

Summer continued

The summer seems to be flying by .. we have no problem filling our time. We've gone to birthday parties, visited grandparents, made many trips to the pool, and spent lots of time with our next door neighbors who are also schedule-free. The weather has been amazing. Last week, we visited Portland for the second time this summer. Ryan did the STP. He had a great time and so did we. We went with a family from our preschool whose dad was also doing the ride. We visited the Portland Children's museum, spent a few hours at a park where we had a picnic, and visited the local uwajimaya -- always fascinating for kids (American kids that is)

Something has changed recently though. Two weeks ago, we spent the week with the children of a friend. I watched 4 kids for 4 days (long story about how this happened). My friend has lovely kids who are the same age as mine but the combination wasn't great for my kids. Jack was really unhappy with the arrangement but instead of articulating that he became aggressive and channeled that anger toward Sonia. I spent a great deal of time managing their unhappiness and mine. It seems that week wore me down as I felt really cranky this week.  Jack, especially, seems to pick up my moods. So now my unhappiness is his. I didn't figure it all out until yesterday when I commented to Ryan that I couldn't understand why the kids were so grumpy. His look said it all. Grumpy mom = grumpy children.

Next week, the kids will attend camp. We all need some space.

Portland Children's Museum entrance

We visited friends who moved to Portland. They have 3 kids in their family and this amazing cargo bike. I want one.

Ryan at STP finish

Bloedel Reserve on Bainbridge Island

Bloedel Reserve. This is how they feel about posing for pictures

Visit to Oxbow farm to pick raspberries

Oxbow

I've wanted to ride the Great Wheel since it was installed. It's worth the ride. I took at least 10 pictures during the ride and chose this one because of Sonia's face. My kids will regret their attitude about pictures once they see this blog.

Audiobooks

For the last year or so, the kids (esp Jack) have been very into audiobooks. We started with 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' read by Erik Idle. He's a great narrator and the story is so rich and enjoyable in the way of all great children's literature. After listening to that at least 10 times, I needed a change so we moved onto all of the Ramona Quimby books. Stockard Channing narrates those and she is also amazing. There are 6 books in that series and after listening to all of those at least 10 times, I had to move on. We listen mostly in the car but sometimes at home and I am always listening too because the stereo is in our living space.

I tried a lot of different audiobooks but the bar is very high for what interests Jack. We tried the Henry Huggins series (we did not make it through one book), the Cat in the Hat and other Dr. Seuss stories (we made it through a couple of those),  and Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing (10 minutes).

We started The Boxcar Children. He was interested but when he learned I'd procured the Harry Potter series, he wanted nothing else. Ryan has been reading the series to him. He has now heard each of the first three books several times. The audiobooks are narrated by Stephen Fry who is as good as Erik Idle or Stockard Channing.

Jack listens to audiobooks with the same rapt attention that he stares at a monitor. If you talk to him, he won't hear you. He also really listens because we talk a lot about the characters in the books. Do we think they are good or bad, nice or mean, etc? He learned a lot about manners from the Ramona books, and he learned about sarcasm from Willy Wonka (although he doesn't know what sarcasm means he understands when Wonka uses it).  I think he liked the Boxcar children because there are no adults around and the kids have adventures independently. Harry Potter's allure is obvious.

It's lots of fun. My challenge is finding really, really good children's books.

Vacation

Last Saturday, we drove out of town for our first family vacation. In the past, we have always visited people we knew (usually my family in Arizona) but this time the majority of our trip was taken alone. We had a long drive since our ultimate destination was Sandpoint, ID.  We took our time .. wandering east and saw some cool sites.

We stopped in Ellensburg:

Jack enjoyed the skatepark

Interesting yard art

Crazy summer storm

 For the first couple of days, we visited friends in Pullman, WA. We'd never visited Pullman and we loved it. Our friends have a 7 year old son and they are super outdoors people. They own every piece of outdoor gear imaginable -- kayaks, sail boat, bicycles. They have a beautiful home with a view of the little city ... a fire pit in the back yard and even a hot tub.  The kids had a blast.

Palouse Falls State Park

Coolest outdoor pool ever

Sailing on the Snake River

Jack and Ryan kayaking on the Snake River

We arrived in Sandpoint on Monday and stayed through the 4th of July.  At first, I was unhappy. We stayed at a lodge on the Pend Oreille River but our cabin was so dark, it felt like a cave. It was old and too small. I'd planned to be able to cook there but it would not have been comfortable with the kids. I also felt that the location was not kid-friendly. Then I figured out what kid-friendly really means: a kid-friendly place is one where kids can play relatively unsupervised so adults can relax. This was not that place. At first, our kids seemed to need our constant entertainment and I didn't feel up to it.

We considered leaving. Then we decided to make the best of it and everything shifted. People go on vacation to escape chores and have the opportunity to have nothing to do but play. We never cooked or cleaned or ran errands. We went to the beach at the river every day. We played with the kids, ate ice cream, went out to dinner. Everyone had fun. Jack and I rode our bikes 3 miles into town every day. We watched the 4th of July parade and the fireworks. We decided to go on vacation every year at this time.

Ryan's parents joined us for a few of the evenings we were in Sandpoint. They hung out with us at the lodge. Ryan's dad took some fun photos.

Ryan and kids standing in front of boat that fascinated Jack. The boat had 2 1200 horse power engines. Ryan's dad estimated its cost around 300K. Fancy.

the lodge -- we watched the fireworks from this dock

Ryan rode his bike the first 60 miles of the way home. He is training for the Seattle-to-Portland ride. The kids and I stopped at Albeni Dam. We took a tour but were allowed no pictures (they are managed by the Army Corps of Engineers). I snapped this one before the tour.

Our last stop was Cle Elum. We met friends for dinner at their parents' vacation home. The kids ran freely. Jack rode his bike on the dirt roads, and they played. We've been listening to Harry Potter while driving so the kids look forward to that part of the trip too. They finally fell asleep around 10 as they are now on summer time.

The Homework Myth

This year, Jack has had a homework packet every week. It contains 10-14 worksheets that duplicate the work he does in the classroom. I tried to inspire him to do it at the beginning of the year but he was very resistant. Ryan got so desperate he bribed him with screen time and I said, 'no way' to that even though Jack was very interested in the trade. So, I stopped bugging Jack about it and he doesn't do it.

His teacher does not love this and told me next year there may be consequences for not doing the homework. I have been preparing for a fight .. in the form of a discussion of course .. with the 1st grade teacher and principal next year. I read Alfie Kohn's book, The Homework Myth. He analyzes all the research around homework in the elementary grades which proved that doing more school work at home does not improve school performance or character (self-discipline, wisdom through suffering or whatever other reason adults believe the value of homework to be).

Fortunately for me, I learned recently that I am not the only parent whose child doesn't do the homework. The other mom is an ivy-league educated UW law professor (score!).  She feels passionately (and she is as articulate and intense as you suspect) that the homework our kindergartners are given is a waste of time. The kids are little and doing fine and even if they weren't, this homework would not help.  She said that we can unite next year against any punitive measures the first grade teachers may consider.

I feel like I won the rebel parent lottery.

On wheels

While I am trying to always accept my children for who they are, I admit that I insist they learn to ride a bike and like it (dammit). I push cycling like Joe Montana probably pushed football. Sonia will not ride the scoot bike that Jack loved but she is into the scooter so we go with that. Today we are having summertime weather so we went to South lake Union around MOHAI to ride. I'd like to say that glorious fun was had by all. It was not. Sonia complained most of the time which is her MO these days. Jack had fun though.

The butterfly song

Sonia sings the butterfly song for her teachers -- Jenny and Heather

San Francisco

We spent our spring break in beautiful, sunny! San Francisco. We planned the trip because Ryan had some extra travel credits from work .. sadly, those fell through after all the plans were made. That dampened my enthusiasm for the trip quite a bit and perhaps that lowered my expectations. It was sunny every day we were there which made the trip worth it regardless of the activities. I learned SF is a great city for kids. We visited Golden Gate Park -- home of the lovely Koret's Children's Quarter and the California Academy of Science. We could have spent days in each of these places.  We purchased a CityPass (highly recommended) so we had tickets to 4 museums and the buses and cable cars for a week. We took a cruise on the Bay, visited the aquarium, hiked up to Coit Tower, around Lombard street and hung out at Aquatic park on by Ghiredelli square. We explored the newly rebuilt Exploratorium. We visited Yerba Buena Gardens where there is a great playground and the Children's Creativity Museum.

My mom visited for 4 days which made our outings a little more special.  We ate some great food -- gelato at Naia's, pizza at Tony's, italian at Vicotello's (all in North Beach where we stayed). One of the great parts of the trip is that the kids were great.  Jack, especially, walked everywhere. When we went to Vicotello's, there was no kids menu. Both kids ate the relatively taste-complicated food they were served.  They are good travelers. They rarely complained and were always up for our daily adventures. It makes me want to travel more.

Golden Gate Park Conservatory

Watching the fish at the very diverse California Academy of Science

Paddling on Stowe Lake / Golden Gate Park

Koret's children's playground / Golden Gate Park

View from Coit Tower

Blowing bubbles at the Exploratorium

Yerba Buena Gardens / best shot of many

Happy Easter!

All special occasions are more fun with kids. I know I've mentioned I'd stopped paying attention to Halloween, Easter, even Christmas.. Now we are celebrating. As a result, I've come to understand why these traditions are important.. why we celebrate. People come together and share the experience. It's lovely.  I've been waffling about the Easter bunny. I am getting tired of lying to them. They ask so many questions so there is always a series of lies. Jack asked yesterday what the tooth fairy does with all the teeth. Indeed.

As the kids get older, they are more fun to hang out with -- Yesterday we headed to a park in this amazing spring weather we are having. We found a lemonade stand. They were so excited and so were the kids selling lemonade. Notice the stand is made from an old sandbox.

When I took this picture I was thinking that I couldn't believe what Jack was doing. He used to be a little lump of a baby and now he can lead the class in their lesson about the calendar. We were admitted to a private school, btw... a lovely private school .. they are all lovely. They included the bill with the letter of admission -- $17,600. Jack is happier at his school now. I am haunted by the fact that he could have a better experience in a classroom with fewer kids. It may become necessary but he is going to have to stop learning before we make the considerable effort necessary to afford private elementary school.

He has also been attending an after school Lego class at his request. After his first day, I walked in a he'd built nothing. He is easily distracted and I wondered if the environment was too loud for him. I was wrong though. As time passed, he builds bigger and more complicated structures. He likes the class and is proud of his creations.

Last weekend, my dear friend Heather invited us to her family's cabin on Camano Island. We all had a blast. Her nephews were there too so the kids had someone to play with and the adults could relax a bit. This is the part about having older kids that is fun. They are starting to enjoy their freedom but not so much that they don't want to be with us from time to time. Sonia spent most of the weekend bothering Heather's older nephew Archer. Archer's personality is the opposite of Jack -- very alpha. He and Jack got along well and had fun. He and Sonia fought a lot mainly because Sonia seemed to sense his need to be the boss and picked on him. Long term, this is not great behavior but I imagine she'll figure that out.

Dinos and sun

Jack and Ryan took a woodworking class together. They made a T-Rex:

Sonia and I spent some time in our neighbor's hammock in the sun.. heaven!

Jack Teavee

We love listening to audiobooks. We have listened to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at least ten times. Occasionally, Jack will ask me why I don't like videogames or why I won't let him have screen time every day.  I generally try to recite the oompa loompa song sung after Mike Teavee gets sucked into the television and turned into a two inch tall boy. Here's the first part of the song. Jack gets it as he trusts that Willy Wonka is a wise man.

"The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set–
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all the shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink–
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK–HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!